The time ledger is a really unique one.
I think of all the others as building over time, whereas time is something we start with and subtract.
We have 24 hours in a day to do things. It gets even worse when you zoom out because we don’t really know when our time will end.
oof… grim!
We have a weird relationship with time.
We always think there will be more of it and that we are good at managing it.
We then often complain about how fast it’s moving and yet don’t stop doing things that waste it.
Thinking about my own life, I am coming up on a gross amount of time since high school. What happened!?!
I once heard an anecdote that a true friend should bail you out of prison $100 for every year you have been friends. It’s wild to me I have some friends that will have to fork over $3K.
The ironic part is they don’t read this lol. That’s ok, I think I can forgive them.
I have no idea where the time went and yet if you asked me about what I spend my time on, there is a lot of pointless stuff.
Your time ledger is something you need to protect more than you currently do. You really have no idea what life has in-store for you and delaying things is playing with time fire.
Since it is a clock running out instead of something we build upon, it’s hard to (1) not think of death; and (2) always keep in mind things you are doing to waste the time you have.
Lets talk about the death thing first. It probably makes you uncomfortable. However, there is some good research showing if you think about it more, you may become happier.
In my life, this has played out really interestingly. A few years ago my grandfather passed. We were very close. His passing was not a surprise as he was getting old and wanted to be done. What made it easier for me to accept is every time I saw him over his last couple years I thought about him passing and if he did after the next time I saw him would I be ok. I asked myself a few questions.
Did I have say everything I needed to?
Would our relationship be in a place I would not regret?
Does he know how I feel about him?
If I could answer these questions with a yes, I thought I would be ok.
Was I sad? Absolutely!!
Am I still sad when I think about him? Yes, I liked his company and would have loved more time. However, I am also at peace.
My story is about expected loss. Unexpected loss is a much different beast as one would expect. I am hoping if you ask those 3 questions with every relationship it could help even if only a little. We are going to need all the help we can get!
You are doing the best you can with the information you have. It’s ok to give yourself a break.
A friend reminded me when you think about death, all those petty squabbles just don’t mean much.
Ok enough about death.
I was talking with a friend about stressors and we reminisced about college and how the stress and pressure was not nearly to the degree it is as an adult and we wish we could go back to those days of listening to lectures and taking naps. We tend to let time go by and then look back not realizing all the things we were missing out on by trying to get to the next thing.
Being present is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do.
Thank you Andy Bernard for this gem:
Unfortunately, no one is coming to save us from this reality. If you try to recreate something it is just not the same. Getting together with college friends is not the same as when you lived with them.
Now you ask, what do you do to protect and get the most out of your time ledger?
Life hacks!!!! lol jk that’s so mid-2000s.
Some of those were super helpful and in typical hype fashion, everyone tried to cash in and ended up wasting EVEN MORE TIME!
What then is realistic?
Start by figuring out what is draining your time and examine if it’s really what you want.
I personally love sitting on instagram reels with my wife. Does it drain time? OH YEAH! It also allows us to laugh together. This, I would not trade for anything.
What to do also depends on your personality type.
Will it help to write down all your activities and do a time audit where you break down all the things you do and where your 24 hours go… in excel?
For most I would say thats not happening. The fact that I just said excel had most of you going…
It may be more realistic to know generally where your time goes and be able to recognize & take action when a time suck moment occurs. Make note of the known time suck behaviors (social media) and be on alert when using them.
I don’t have great answers as this is a place where I really struggle.
How is this like a ledger?
You get an entry everyday. It’s up to you whether it’s green (well done) or red (poor). We won’t always get them right and there will be a lot of yellow.
Emotions are strong. Whether it’s good or bad, remember, this too shall pass. The good times and the bad, emotions fade over time.
If you wasted time and missed a moment, you will beat yourself up. You can always make sure you are present for the next one.
These entries go into a big ledger balancing your green and red. You hope there is more green, while the red, which can lead to a regrets sub-ledger (more on this another time) are small.
A few last words
We regret wasting time.
We will never regret wasting kindness.
We will not regret family time.
We aren't making good time but we are making good times. (Bluey)
We always want 5 more minutes… why do we resist accounting for it.
Until next time…
